uh. yeah.

go here.

I think i should just come clean. yeah. i should. maybe tonight i shall. it's a long walk to MO.

i want to be your girlfriend.

i am a miserable excuse for a person. I totally am still head over heals for this guy and ... i think he's beautiful. not necessarily by his physical beauty, i mean he looks nice and all, but he's a gorgeous person as a person and i'm head over heals. have been for a while. and i can't stop thinking about him. We're leaving from here in a week and and then i won't see him again for three months. i don't know what i'll do without him. I totally want to be like "alexander, i love you" and then tackle hug him. but in a completely different way that "knee hug" him.

pudding

i wanted to make some pudding last night for pie filling for our sigma class fellowship event, but the milk was frozen. and so i used the un-frozen part of the milk. my pie is probably too thick. but i'm gonna go with "it's okay" as long as you can't bounce a fork off of it, like that "chocolate pie" during may session first year.

the cardigans.

so i have a math test in 4 hours and instead of studying for it last night (or doing russian homework, working on my paper or doing my CS program) i sat around and let alex remind/teach me foundations stuff that i don't remember.

Sometimes I get so frustrated. I know I shouldn't, I should be happy with where I am in my life and right now i generally am, but then, I get so scared. So scared that no one will ever love me. Not good friend love, because I'm blessed with some great friends. But love-love. sweeping me off my feet love. first kiss love. marriage love. I'm too ugly for love. i'm too fat for love. boys are repulsed by me. and i just want you to love me.

love me. love me. say that you love me.

okay, i feel better now.

seksi

oh extended weekend! went up to des moines with josh to visit my sister and her husband. It was quality fun. josh & i bought disposable cameras to take photos with. and i was really kinda pissed with myself for forgeting my digital camera, but i hope we still got some high quality pictures.

Truman should have some kind of eastern dance class, like indian or something. nepalese. i would totally do that.

Des Moines is a beautiful city. I'm happy Marci's living there, and the place she works is extrmemely cute. I can't wait to go back and try walking all over downtown on the skywalks, which connect all of the buildings downtown.

I register today. I'm excited about next semester.

QuikTrip Rocks.

middayramblings

i don't have anything to say except that i'm busy and love regina spektor.
realy really busy. and really really love. new music is good.
i'm hungry.
open koran quizzes mean that i don't read the koran before class.
so, for this ODE's paper, are we supposed to do math research or book/summary research? because i'm confused.