concetrate!

I can't concetrate. What I was hoping was a depression issue that would go away once I finished last semester at Truman has continued into a complete loss of any concentration. It's harder to notice here, I don't have a constant supply of schoolwork that nags at me, but I do have this short stack of books from the library. Books that interest me, that I desire to read. But I can't pick any of them up to read. I'm scared to open them. I have a pile of stuff over in the corner of my room. I basically dumped it out of the box onto the floor and it hasn't moved since. I've wanted to start a knitting or crochet project since the middle of last semester, but I can't decide and know that as soon as I do, I'll start it then pull it out, so why even bother? I so want to run, but I can't make myself because it's too big a project, I'll never be able to do it, I'll give up before I am able to run to my satisfaction, (again) so, why even bother? I literally watched four episodes of Alias today, I couldn't tell you what they were about, who was in them, what cliff-hanger Sydney was left on.

I have another issue with running... any time i go running, my mom askes questions. how far did you go? and the next day she'll ask me if i went again. Frankly, i'm offended by her questions because i feel like it's none of her buisness. I'll run when I want to run, but i don't even want to start when i know she's going to ask. I suppose i could hide it, but... yeah, i suppose i could.