second floor whores.

i have a dream of falling in love. i think everyone has it. i just want to be able to come home, to my husband. and we would love each other.

but what if that never happens? i mean, i'm twenty.
i've never had sex
i've never had a boyfriend
i've never gone out on a date
i've not had my first kiss.

is all lost? i don't know if i'm cabable of loving someone. i don't know if i can allow myself to be loved.

i don't know what i want in a man.

well, that's not exactly true, but i want someone who finds me beautiful. i think it's totally likely that no one will ever see me as physically beautiful, maybe not even pretty.

damn, i need some sfw girl time.