pudding

i wanted to make some pudding last night for pie filling for our sigma class fellowship event, but the milk was frozen. and so i used the un-frozen part of the milk. my pie is probably too thick. but i'm gonna go with "it's okay" as long as you can't bounce a fork off of it, like that "chocolate pie" during may session first year.

the cardigans.

so i have a math test in 4 hours and instead of studying for it last night (or doing russian homework, working on my paper or doing my CS program) i sat around and let alex remind/teach me foundations stuff that i don't remember.

Sometimes I get so frustrated. I know I shouldn't, I should be happy with where I am in my life and right now i generally am, but then, I get so scared. So scared that no one will ever love me. Not good friend love, because I'm blessed with some great friends. But love-love. sweeping me off my feet love. first kiss love. marriage love. I'm too ugly for love. i'm too fat for love. boys are repulsed by me. and i just want you to love me.

love me. love me. say that you love me.

okay, i feel better now.