plato and oldness

i miss my old people. and i'm supposed to be reading Plato's The Republic but it's about old people, and it's making me want mine back. also -- i have questions about my generation, are we, as a group more depressed than the generation before us? before them? how about compared to Plato's time? is depression always there? how did people back then deal with it? (yes, i'm depressed)

for my birthday, i want to go to the kirksville high school football game.

i really like the aesthetics of The Republic. It's pretty. which always makes me happy. or maybe not always. but it's always better than not being pretty.

movies

www.oldversion.com because newer is not always better. what a great line.


getting ready to watch Osama again. i highly suggest it.

oh, back in the day... my first foriegn film was horrible! Celeste it was oh, so bad. "i kept trying to draw an analogy between her waiting and me waiting... for the film to be over" ~jeri. but i tried again, and have found some very good ones. NW will not ruin me yet!

oh my god. why do i do this to myself? i almost skipped classes today, but i decided to go. however, i might have just skipped them anyway, because i was too mad at myself to pay attention, and it's hard holding back the tears. they shouldn't be able to do this to me, but it's not their fault, it's mine. because i'm retarded. so fucking retarded.

i'm keeping secrets.

it's going to be a fun day.
why i shouldn't be allowed to talk: i abuse english as next as the bad american.
why i shouldn't be allowed to write: i thought it was bad when i wrote a d instead of a g. it became much worse when i realized i got it right. (damn the russian!)

depression?

sometimes i hate myself. i know i didn't do enough work yesterday, or any really. so now i'm stuck trying to do my russian homework, of which i have the first of three parts done. it just never stops, either. because even if i were to miraculously get all of this assignment done i still have last friday's to do as well, and if that were done, there's tuesday's analysis homework to turn in. along with algebra problems i need to know how to do, in case i have to present on the board and then i have to read the second half of Plato's Progatorus which, while interesting, really isn't the easiest thing to read. oh, on top of this, i'm two weeks behind in reading for Rural America and i need to be looking at this other stuff for my first philosophy paper. i can't do this again. i can't repeat last semester. i need to do this. but i don't think i can. i just want to sleep. i don't want to go to class, i don't want to talk to people, i don't want to do problems sets or read. i don't want to translate and i don't want to run.

warawr!

yes. it's five am and i'm up. but so it goeses. my birtday is in twoo weekses. russian's going to kick my ass this weekend. so will calculus. i have red hair and bangs now. it's going to take some time to get used to.
i love sarah masen's song "kissing tree"
out.

broken glass, like broken dreams. ha.

narrative: yesterday i got up from my desk in my room and i knocked my snowflake glass of the desk. it breaks. then today i'm go to the language lab to listen to russian. so, i sit in the chair and have come to a fully sitting position. the chair then rolls out from under me, hits the wall and knocks the clock off the wall. it breaks. but i hear glass breaking is actually good luck, counterintutive to the breaking mirrors is bad luck. so there.

it's been a rough couple of days. and will be a rough couple more, i'm afraid.

*yawn*

today has been a tiring day. didn't get up early enough to make a sandwich for lunch, which also means i didn't get up early enough for breakfast. also, i'm really worn down and seem inable to think. tonight is a night for algebra and russian. algebra and russian. i can do it, i must do it.

as kelbe said "its such a freaking small world"

okay, so today in health my prof told us that cardiovascular disease is the number one killer (i think pertaining to america). But really, should that surprize anyone. Have you ever thought about how much work that muscle does? It pumps blood all the time. It doesn't get 48 hours to recover after "working out" It is just constantly in motion.Every day, every night, without ceasing. I am a generally squimish person, I genuinely don't like thinking about blood flowing through my body. In Zo, I would cringe when we would talk about any animal's cardiovasuclar system. I can feel it pulsing through my wrists. Listening to someone's heartbeat makes mine go faster. As is writing this post. But seriously. I'm impressed.

Blood. The LifeForce, if you will. The heart. It's an amazing thing.

classes update.

So, in an attepmt to be more studious, i'm cutting back on this whole internet thing. My classes are going pretty well. I was really worried about my philosophy class before the term started and not at all about advanced calc. now, that's about reversed. i'm not sure about the papers we have to do for philosophy, but i think it will be okay. i'm shaking in my boots when it comes to the idea of a math test. i must over come this paralysing fear of math that i got last semester. i'm always tired and hungry now. so, shower and real food, then a mandatory trip for "rural america" not much else going on in my life, besides classes really. i suppose that's okay for now.
out.

oh, that t-pop.

WOW. i have a LOT of work to do, so i'm not planning on being around much. i really need to work on my interpersonal relationships. wait... no, interpersonal skillz. yeah. also, have i mentioned my classes? russian is going to eat me alive, as will advanced calculus, algebraic structures, rural america and history of philosophy: ancient. also, i bought Alias Season III and watched the first episode tonight. i should have been reading and doing ... well, any one of those classes. now i must sleep so i can get up for 7:30 jogging.
~out.

labor day weekend

so, it's labor day weekend, and i have tomorrow off. so what have i done with my weekend? well, not school work. that's what monday is for. duh. So, there was a bit of vh1's "this summer rocked" or whatever it was called. quite funny. and today was escape from planet of the apes and part of conquest of planet of the apes but i was kinda planet of the apes-ed out by then.

also, i started a scarf. it's in don't shoot me orange. i named it that, after the hunter's vests. the pattern is wheatear (you'll have to scroll down to see it). it's rather thin, two repeats across. but i've made quite the progress so far today. also, i'm planning on making a coordinating sweater in "camo" color.
how sweet would that be?
pretty fucking sweet.
that's what i'm saying.
okay, enough internal dialouge.

when the thai roommate when back to thailand for the summer, she took requests for bringing back thai stuff to us. i asked for a thai-pop cd. and she provided. she brought me Lanna Commins who apparently is "super big" in Thailand right now. apparently, she's half-Thai, half-American, like the roommate. so, it's quality, and i'm enjoying it.

"don't say goodbye"

shake it, shake it.

wow. i went out at 10:30 this evening and ran around campus for 26:45 in that time, i saw two "cops" i'm pretty sure they were real ones and not just DPS though. i was kinda worried that they might try to stop me. but no! so yay. this is my longest time out running. i'm not really sure how far i went, because it was just on campus. it felt really good though. until the end there, where my knees were starting to feel it. so i've been looking at strenght training things so i can try to fix that.

went to walmart after classes. bra shopping sucks. just so you know. i'm completely the wrong size to buy any type of clothing other than socks. i swear. my boobs are too small for my chest, and my waist is too large for my hips. nothing ever fits me.

on top of this, i haven't been eating very well. i just can't make myself eat union food. my roommate and i went to walmart today for the main purpose of getting food, other than from campus. and then i couldn't even eat much of that. on top of this, i don't have time to eat lunch T/R. so i'm in need of your helpful portable foods.

also, if either of you have come across a webpage with a good human body muscular system, i'd like it (i just want those major muscles, quads, hamstrings, biceps, ect...) i know the general places of these muscles, i just forget the details.

another day, another dollar.

even if you don't have a dime.

I ran two miles in 22:20 this morning during "jogging" i'm thinking about getting out and going tomorrow as well. I'm not too sure though. I'm getting bogged down with schoolwork already. I feel like I'm already behind and we're not even a week in yet. Russian was another day of nearly all class in russian. but i think it was better. maybe i'm just getting into hearing it.

As of days of old, i get to celebrate thursdays. this time as "No Russian Thursday" and the world rejoices. Or at least I do. I need to think of questions for Plato's Euthyphro. Well, some question besides "WTF, mate? ^^"

And, I'm hungry as usual.

antoshka kartoshka