grades.

um. okay. so i got my grades. i got a D in my calc class. i don't want to say my parents are going to kill me, but they are going to be dissappointed. and i think it would be easier on me if they did just finish me off. it's not like the rest of my classes even make up for it. C's yeah.

i need to decide what i'm going to do next semester. i don't really want to take the second semester of a course that i got a c in. well, i do with russian, but not with algebra. so, do i retake calc or should i put that off a semester and take ode's?

mmm sleept

in case you were wondering: i am SO allergic to cats.

so. i've been watching movies and reading a bit. napolean dynamite and the terminal last week. elf this week. my goal is to re-watch every episode of alias before season four starts. i don't know if that's possible, but i'm trying.

so alergic to cats. seriously. i have welts on my skin from kitty.

i'm super tired and 'talking' to people online but i don't htink i'm making much sense because i'm looking at knitting patterns and thinkinga bout what i want to do.

i'm not drunk just tiered and i can't type and wont by bothered by yit

Christmas

i did NOT make out like a bandit this year. but that's okay. i spent some quality time with my family. i wish my sister had stuck around longer, but, whatever.

also, seriously people. do i smell bad? because yeah, the soaps are nice, but soap?!?! whatever. jeans and pjs and a hoodie. perhaps i did make out like a bandit.

going home pt. II

um. it was boring.
i got stressed.
now i'm home

yesterday i went christmas shopping
got lost during rush hour
left the lights on
the battery died.
called dad to come fix it
which he did.
the end

going home pt. I

as i was walking out of my last final, philosophy, i had the urge to yell, teen-girl-style "IT'S OVA!!!" but i didn't, because alas, my sense of duty to those poor people still in their finals. although now that i think about it, i believe that was the last scheduled final of the semester. oh well.

and then there was preparing to go home: my mom and grandmother came up. it's a six hour drive home. i didn't sleep the night before (so paper time didn't work out like i wanted.) first there was the selling of the books back. of which, i kept my russian*, algebra**, calculus***, health**** and most of my philosophy. which means that after i spent over four hundered dollars on books, i got fifty back. On the way to the bookstore, I tried to retell an entire dialouge between me and a suitemate to my roommate*****, without using the word "like." It was very difficult.

----------
*russian: total cost was over $110, used. one workbook with minimal writing in it. who buys back used workbooks? who buys used workbooks. apparently i do, when there is no other option. since i'm taking the next semester next semester, i opted to keep the book.

** algebra. aka "contemporary abstract algebra" by gallian. includes "inspirational quotes/beetles song titles and lyrics" before the problem sets. ditto the taking next semester.

***Calculus. aka the math class from hell, Apostle-style. taken with none other than "easy-A Easly" the title is obviousy facetious. no way in hell i'm taking it next semester. That's not exactly true. I would, if a) i knew i passed this semester, which i don't. and b) it wasn't scheduled at the same time as Islam. gotta take the islam

**** Health a) it's an old edition they wouldn't buy back and b) i actually learned some stuff when i read it, as opposed to listening to the professor, also c) it's got some cool charts for food caloric/nutrition info.

*****it turns out that my major is math, and so is one of the current suitemates. my roommate's major is english as is the other current suitemate. i found this out last night.

math and grading

Okay, I just don't understand math tests here. Seriously. I had a 70% average before my calc final and afterwards I was talking to another girl in the class (a girl who spent much more time with the professor than I did) and she said "Oh, I bet you'll get a B" and I'm like "WTF, mate?^^" and the same is for Algebra. He says "I hope to be able to put A's and B's for everyone on the grade sheet" when four people in the class got above a 30/45 on the second test. I don't understant why professors don't just write a test so that people that are going to get a B get an 80-89% on. What's with making us feel like shit? also, what's with writing "This page is disturibing..." on my test? Seriously. I hate Truman.

Paper time. Yay Plato & Hesiod.

copy & paste, from xanga:

there is a breaking point in the examination world, where you just have to say "fuck this shit. i'm hungry" and give up. today i reached that point after two hours of russian final followed by four and a half hours of algebra final. it was mostly the algebra final.

we have amo and guns, i'm not afraid.

i can't believe i'm wasting my good brain writing this paper while i could be working on calculus. this class is fucking retarded. even if i am interested in it. too bad my professor didn't create any interest in it at the begining of the semester. too bad for actually liking a course's subject and hating the prof.

my roommate is trying to daignose me with manic depressiveness. which is nice because last year angie tried to do the same thing. maybe i really should go to the University Counseling Services next semester.

and i don't want to fall to pieces.

So yesterday instead of going to talk to my philosophy professor abuot my philosophy paper, I went and cried in her office. I can't ever tell people what I'd like to tell them. I shove things in and I might want to say something, but it won't come out. I don't need you to say anything either, although if this makes you more comfortable, by all means, go ahead.

Too few hours of sleep, along with not finishing everything I hoped to finish and getting back my algebra test. the one i spent forever on. yeah. i got a 25/45 on it. and yeah. I'm just so frustrated with everything.

schoolwork=mylife

after spending four hours
with an algebra test
i came back to the room
to cry
and attempt to recover

relaxation at two
dancing in the dark
i might look retarded
but no one can see

laying in the dark
trying and failing to sleep
three oclock comes
DOKLAT!

up and working on russian
in the middle of the night
then sleep

new alarm clock works well
climb down from loft
holding alarm in hand
still slightly asleep
roommate: dana, turn it off
I'M TRYING!

exhaustion
to the SRC
"running" on elliptical

no extra credit for algebra
but lunch was good

talking not working

so stressed.
look up finals

Monday : 0930-1120 Algebra
Monday : 1130-0120 Russian
Monday : 0330-0520 15 page paper due
Tuesday: 0930-1120 Calculus
Friday: 0930-11:20 Philosophy.

really just want a massage and to not fail my classes. really don't want to fail. and i had caffeine recently so i doubt i'll be able to sleep now.

truman.

i just spend four hours on a math test that i most likely failed or got a d on. i hate my fucking life.

i think i should buy a bandana.

the other day i couldn't find my green scarf, so i took the brown one that my mom gave me. It's one of those knitted in a circle super strechy ones. when i got to my philosophy class, i was standing around a bit because i was early. debbie, whom i always sit next to was there. She asked me "is that one of those scarves that you can do like a thousand things with?" and i'm like "i guess" and then i put my head into it and pull it around my face. "sometimes i like to pretend that i'm muslim"

and it's true. i do like to wrap things around my hair and pretend for a moment. and i thought it was a recent thing, but tonight i remembered that when i was little i used to take white petticoat and wrap it around my hair and pretend i was a catholic nun after church (i am not, nor have ever been, catholic) so i think i just have a thing about hair coverings.

ps. i put mozilla's firefox on two friends' computers today. this makes me happy.